Responsible Care

A single verse in 1 Timothy 5 has caused a great deal of guilt where it shouldn’t…and hasn’t caused provoked guilt where it should!
I’m referring to v. 8:

But if anyone does not provide not for his own, and especially for those of his household,
he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

On the one hand, many husbands and fathers have suffered needless guilt and shame when they’ve faced the terrible anguish of losing their jobs and have been unable for an extended period of time to find another. During such times, their wives have had to carry the load of earning enough to scrape by. They had to collect unemployment, and perhaps other forms of government assistance.

That’s hard enough on any guy’s ego, but then he remembers his pastor or Sunday School teacher, referring to 1 Timothy 5:8, opine that any man who doesn’t provide for his family’s needs is a bum! And the feelings of guilt and shame are heaped upon him—needlessly!

For this verse isn’t teaching what he was led to believe.

On the other hand, there are Christian adult children whose widowed mothers would be utterly destitute, were it not for the financial, emotional, and domestic support of others. The children are too busy building their careers and their own retirement portfolio, pursuing their dreams of a bigger house, more toys, and nicer cars to be bothered with the pesky needs of aging mom. And since others have stepped in and met those needs, they go merrily on their way, completely oblivious to the fact that, according to 1 Timothy 5:8, they ought to feel a sense of guilt and shame for their selfishness.

This verse, in its context of vv. 3-16, deals with the care of widows, and the point is simple: the responsibility of taking care of the needs of widows lies squarely on the shoulders of her family. If her family members refuse to make the necessary sacrifices so that mom’s needs are cared for, their selfishness is a form of denying the faith they profess to own.

Incidentally, this is consistent with James’s point in James 1:27 — “Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit…widows in their trouble….” And “visit” doesn’t simply mean to pop in on holidays, either. It means to meet the needs of the one “visited.” A profession of faith that doesn’t result in the sacrificial care of one’s own needy, widowed parent is a defiled religion.

So, when it comes to 1 Timothy 5:8, let’s put the guilt where it belongs. Better yet, let’s live in such a way that there is no guilt, as Paul says when he wraps up this section: “If any believing man or woman has widows, let them relieve them, and do not let the church be burdened….” (v. 16)